Sunday, January 26, 2014

Savoring the lessons

I have not been doing my routines.  What is my deal?  I resist looking at the to do list, even though when I do it, I feel better, great even.  Just writing that makes me determined to do my evening routine, and get back on track.  I’ve just decided to print it out and put it on my bathroom mirror.  

Overloaded
I was watching Oprah's Super Soul Sunday (SSS) on Tuesday night.  DH was out of town, and I was toasted after my third day alone with the kids.  I love my kids.  Why have I been so overloaded?  I know this answer, because I don’t take time for myself.  

I have about 25 episodes of SSS stored on my Tivo. I decided on the Carolyn Myss interview.  She was first on Oprah Show about 15 years ago, and I actually remember some of those episodes.  It was a deep conversation about life, and following your purpose.  It resonated with me that not being happy is a choice and a betrayal against myself.  And even though I didn’t get through the whole episode, I added a bunch of new affirmations to my list of personal ones.  I’ll include those at the end of this piece.

What comes around goes around
Life is so funny.  I judged the hell out of my mother about being overloaded when I was a teenager.  My mom would hear things from my dad like, "You have the life of Rielly.  What could you possibly be doing all day?"  And I would hear those judgements, and like a sponge I’d judge judge judge her.  Now that I’m in my forties I know she was depressed.  And I know for sure she was listening to her negative thoughts otherwise I’d have happier memories.  

Now I judge judge judge myself.  I can break into my dad’s judgement talk at any time it’s one of the negative voices inside my head that I don’t believe in anymore.  I’ve decided I’m not playing that game.  Period. 

Here are those affirmations 
I graciously accept good into my life right now. 
I deserve abundance. 
I am financially secure. 
I am supported  abundantly today and every day in my future.
I have never lost my life purpose. 
I refuse to carry judgments, about my life.
I give up any expectations about anything.
I give up the need to know what happens tomorrow. 
I am fully present.
I appreciate fully all that is in my life right now.
The only help I'm every really going to find is my own, this is good news.
(All of the above inspired from the SSS show.)
I am the one that knows how to take care of myself.
I will not and do not focus on anything that does not belong to me. 
I will not hang on to any rage within this body. 
I easily hear and understand the inner voice of spirit.
I am fully present and appreciate my life. 
I will never should all over myself. 
Forgiveness is realizing that what I thought, didn't happen.
I joyously run forward to greet life’s wonderful experiences.

Goodnight.


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