Saturday, December 31, 2016

Papillary Thyroid Cancer

*** Old post I never published.  Doing it now, better late than never.  It's interesting so see where my mind was at.  **

11.30.2016
I've been diagnosed on November 3rd  with Thyroid cancer.

So what else is new?  Another person with cancer in a society where the word has such a charge, like Voldemort at the beginning of Harry Potter.

I've had all sorts of ideas about cancer in general, mostly that I wouldn't get it.  I think it's something that all young ones think they are going to avoid.  My dear friend is watching his father decline in health, and he texted, "Unfortunately shit happens.  When you are young you feel invincible like it won’t ever get you, but if you stick around long enough, it does."

I know he's hurting as he said that, and I totally get it.  Honestly, I've been in some mental pain since my diagnoses.  What I've been is a in pain in my own ass.  A pain in the neck has a whole new meaning for me now.

I've been like a kid with a tantrum, and I've been trying to be kind and understanding to myself as I would to any other person outside of myself diagnosed with cancer.  Only, I notice that is so much easier said than done.

I notice that as long as the pain is outside of me I have this capacity for infinite understanding towards others when they are in deep suffering.  I don't judge, I don't join them, (well sometimes I do) in fact I quietly cheer them on, knowing they are going to get to the other side,  stronger and better.


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