Happy Anniversary

Today is 10 years since the still birth.  PJ’s are still on and it’s 10am.  There’s a lot of emotion today, and I'm letting the emotions have their way with me.  It's not a constant crying...but more like ...after 10 years.... I'm like, "Oh I didn't know that was in there.  Okay.  It's okay, you can have your space."  You know ?  I'm learning.
I'm realizing that I'm always going to be processing something for as long as I’m human.
I'm learning what I want to watch for is the arrogance that comes from thinking I’m done learning.
If there’s breathing,
There’s learning,
When there’s breathing,
Then there’s appreciating that there’s at least this breath until it's gone.

I remember on the day, my husband was driving me to the hospital, he said, “Life is like a box of chocolates.”  And in the car I looked at him like... really?  Seriously?   This makes me laugh so much now.  He was like, “What? It is!”

Today I took a bite and it was grief flavored chocolate, and you know what?  I’m not spitting it out. I chew, swallow, repeat, because I have faith there’s joy, I’ve had it before and I’ll have it again pretty quick.

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